Tag Archives: submission

Submission Saved My Marriage! The Tragic Irony of Christian Complementarianism

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Many conservative evangelical women have led their marriage to a healthier place by following Jesus and learning to love well. The classic conservative marriage testimony that I have repeatedly heard from women often goes like this: “Our marriage was a mess. I (wife) started lovingly submitting to my husband, then he started leading our family in love, and now we have a much happier, healthier marriage.” Let the reader understand the irony of this statement. The wife initiated submission in her marriage, but the husband is praised for his leadership. The greatest racket of conservative white evangelism is that the husband is praised for being a “leader” when he responds with love to his wife’s submission.

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Love & Submit ≠ Husbands Lead, Wives Submit

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Jesus teaches the foundation of Christianity is for all believers to “Love God” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Later, Paul expounds that love includes mutual submission: “Submit to one another” (Ephesians 5:21) before he breaks it down into wives submit, husbands love—NOT wives submit, husbands lead. Nowhere in the Bible does it explicitly state, “Husbands lead, wives submit.” When the church twists the Christian message of mutual love and submission into “lead and submit,” LOVE is lost.

In a recent social media post, my husband captured the corruptive nature of complementarian theology (male leadership/female submission) in marriage no matter how well-intentioned the couple. Thought I’d share.

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