White Evangelical: Let’s Talk About Race, Baby

(or Why I Associate My Spiritual Heritage with Race) The majority of my posts have, in one form or another, addressed the problems with patriarchy in the white evangelical church. The most unexpected pushback I regularly receive on social media and in real life is not my criticism of patriarchy, but my use of the…

Continue reading →
by holytension

Raising my Ebenezer: Why I’m still a Christian

It’s been 3 years, 10 months, and 5 days since my family walked out of the doors of our local Southern Baptist church for the last time. I knew when we were leaving that we were leaving something much bigger than our local church and even the Southern Baptist Convention, but I did not yet…

Continue reading →
by holytension

A Husband-Focused View of Biblical Marriage

My husband spends a lot of time on social media engaging with others to explain the problems with complementary/patriarchal theology. He asked if he could write a post for my blog and organize all his conversations in one place. I’m so happy to share his thoughts with you! My previous article, Love & Submit ≠…

Continue reading →
by holytension

Personal Journey

Different AND Equal: One Woman’s Journey from Complementarian to Egalitarian

Why did I avoid wrestling with egalitarian theology for so long? A weird stew of several factors: desire to be objective, rejection of secular white feminism, result of my circumstances, propensity towards self-flagellation, and fear of becoming a feminazi. I’ve avoided the egalitarian label most of my adult life. I’ve been trying to process why.…

Life under Patriarchy: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Examining the wounds of my past is part of my journey towards healing. Wound-care is often messy and uncomfortable. Recently, I read a series of poems by marla taviano, a woman on her own journey out of “white evangelical indoctrination” (jaded). I have found catharsis and understanding in her words. Allow me to share. (For…

Finding My Voice (in the wilderness) – Part 2

Sometimes I think I’m done writing for awhile, and then I stumble across something that reminds me of all the pain still trapped inside. This week I stumbled upon an article on social media entitled A Southern Baptist Pastor’s Plea: Please Listen, and I started bleeding again. Watching a complementarian man receive praise for “listening”…

Problems with Patriarchy

The Apostle Paul Led Me Out of Patriarchy

Three influential factors that led me out of complementary/patriarchal theology: the racism inherent in allowing white women to teach BIPOC men overseas but not white men in our own churches,…

Love & Submit ≠ Husbands Lead, Wives Submit

Jesus teaches the foundation of Christianity is for all believers to “Love God” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Later, Paul expounds that love includes mutual submission: “Submit to one…

Holy Tensions

Holy Tension

The difficulty of holding the tension of seemingly opposed truths create many of the dividing forces between different sects of Christianity. Danger arises when you cling too tightly to one…

Heaven & Hell on Earth

Would being in heaven with a God you hate be hell? Before any discussion of hell begins, I want to establish first and foremost I believe God is Love. Goodness,…

The False Dichotomy of Truth & Love

In my former corner of Christianity, sermons often pitted truth and love against each other because of a poor interpretation of Eph 4:15: 14 Then we will no longer be…

Sex

Community Building

Spiritual Discussion Guide

I’ve facilitated hundreds of bible studies over the years, in many different cultural settings, both for people who identify as Christian and those who don’t, who are seeking spiritual answers.…

Craft and Conversation Table

A resource for community building, easily adjusted to meet group needs. We live in a culture of loneliness, paradoxically plagued by oversharing in digital spaces and trivial conversation in our…

Other Posts / All Posts

The Bad, the Good, and the Beautiful

Romans 8:28 is a frequently quoted, beautiful verse often used in very harmful ways: In all things God works for the good of those who love him. Though God does…

Language: Labels & Longing

Musings on why I do not love the label egalitarian. I don’t love the label egalitarian. I claim it, but labels are tricky things. Though often necessary to quickly capture…

Rule & Desire Revisited

This article is a follow-up to an earlier post, Age of Patriarchy: Desire of Woman & Rule of Man. I enjoyed writing Age of Patriarchy: Desire of Woman & Rule…

Finding My Voice (in the wilderness) – Part 1

Living in “complementarian” spaces was death by a thousand cuts. It can be hard to articulate, because each cut on its own sounds petty. Also, some of my pain is…

Sexual Healing in the Song of Songs

I wanted to share specific ways I found sexual healing in Scripture as a woman raised in a Christian culture that overwhelming focuses on male sexual desire. God works in…

“Married Sex” Lacks Strong Biblical Exegesis

A book review of Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta. *This article has been updated since originally posted. Last update: 3/21/23 My reflections on the problematic content of…